people's words.

i can't sleep.

i know it's late and i should probably get some sleep because i still have some *coughalotcough* works to do but i just can't focus any more. so yeah, i decided that i'm gonna rest for a while, by writing this.

ever since i've become jobless, i've been reading a lot of short fictions lately, with various genres and nameless authors on live journal (if you know me well enough, you will easily understand what and whom i'm implying here). and from those works,i got some really really good words that i really love.
i might not quote them properly and already forgot who wrote what (i'm really sorry for this), but at least i still get the main ideas (i think). here goes:

"...just remember the important things in life, don't lose sight of your goals, and you'll be fine."

"in life, you will face a lot of difficulties. but you can't keep runaway from them."

"and if i fail, i fail. but because i wasn't good enough, not because i didn't have the guts."

"it had to start somewhere. no matter how small the step you take, it had to start somewhere to get it done. and once it's done, you'll be free."


it's no secret that i loathe motivational or inspirational or self-help books, but when those messages were translated into a story, those gonna haunt me for ages. albeit the simple theme or plot or story line, they will really hit me, hard.

so i thank you dear authors, for writing those stories. for giving lessons that i refuse to accept in conventional(?) ways.
thank you so much.


p.s. i might or might not add the line from ice princess haha.
p.s.s. this post is actually dedicated to someone, but if this can help you in any way, i will be very happy for that too.
p.s.s.s. my left eye hurts but i'm still wide awake what to do, really.
p.s.s.s.s. writing in laps lock because i'm too lazy to deal with the shift key.
p.s.s.s.s.s. i really should stop and get some sleep. bye.

years.

just had a talk with ica, on how happy we were when we were so young, when we had close to nothing, but we felt content somehow. i'm feeling nostalgic right now. plus i'm high on sugar and i just can't sleep.

six years passed in a blink of an eye. my former roommate is now residing in banjarmasin. she just emailed me yesterday on how life is very different there, and how she missed home much. i'll reply her email after this, i promised her after all.

six years ago, who would have known that we will end up like this, when our worries back then feel very trivial now. when our problems back then feel very easy to handle now. when all the little things bugging us back then feel very small now.

it's kinda strange to know that six years ago this place felt foreign to me, though i consider this place as home right now. and what's weirder is the fact that i'm accepting it now. that the city life fits me better than the serenity my hometown offers.

what's more amazing is that i've met so many people in the span of six years. like, so many that my 16 year-old self will deem it impossible. and i can talk with them. i can converse with strangers now.

these past 6 years felt surreal somehow. but i'm grateful for it. really. thank you, all of you. :)

ohisashiburi desu.

so last year i said that i will update more, but i didn't.
this year though, there are so many things to write, but i don't know where to start. maybe i'll post something based on time sequence, but nothing is decided yet. i'll write and post something though.
i will.