59th

Mio padre è alto.

Or at least I remember it that way. Although it's clear that to a six year old kid, every adult appears much taller than herself.

Lui è intelligente.

Because he was a teacher and he has so many books and his handwriting always look intriguing and cool (even though I couldn't read them anyway).

Mi piacerebbe rivederlo.

I don't really know how the after life works, but I'd like to see him again if I can. At least so I can thank him properly and say that I love him in person. And maybe to have some small talks as adults.

Amo, padre. Grazie.

Emotions and Detachment

“Learn how to detach.”
“Don’t cling to things, because everything is impermanent.”
“Detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That’s how you are able to leave it.”
- Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

I really love that word.
Detachment.
It was portrayed beautifully too in the book. It’s like that word is telling us not to fall into deep to everything because nothing is ever constant. I feel like this word is telling us to let go.
To move on. To start anew.
And that’s exactly what I’m trying to do right now.

“Change is hard, I should know. I should know. I should know.”
- Change Is Hard by She & Him

people's words.

i can't sleep.

i know it's late and i should probably get some sleep because i still have some *coughalotcough* works to do but i just can't focus any more. so yeah, i decided that i'm gonna rest for a while, by writing this.

ever since i've become jobless, i've been reading a lot of short fictions lately, with various genres and nameless authors on live journal (if you know me well enough, you will easily understand what and whom i'm implying here). and from those works,i got some really really good words that i really love.
i might not quote them properly and already forgot who wrote what (i'm really sorry for this), but at least i still get the main ideas (i think). here goes:

"...just remember the important things in life, don't lose sight of your goals, and you'll be fine."

"in life, you will face a lot of difficulties. but you can't keep runaway from them."

"and if i fail, i fail. but because i wasn't good enough, not because i didn't have the guts."

"it had to start somewhere. no matter how small the step you take, it had to start somewhere to get it done. and once it's done, you'll be free."


it's no secret that i loathe motivational or inspirational or self-help books, but when those messages were translated into a story, those gonna haunt me for ages. albeit the simple theme or plot or story line, they will really hit me, hard.

so i thank you dear authors, for writing those stories. for giving lessons that i refuse to accept in conventional(?) ways.
thank you so much.


p.s. i might or might not add the line from ice princess haha.
p.s.s. this post is actually dedicated to someone, but if this can help you in any way, i will be very happy for that too.
p.s.s.s. my left eye hurts but i'm still wide awake what to do, really.
p.s.s.s.s. writing in laps lock because i'm too lazy to deal with the shift key.
p.s.s.s.s.s. i really should stop and get some sleep. bye.

years.

just had a talk with ica, on how happy we were when we were so young, when we had close to nothing, but we felt content somehow. i'm feeling nostalgic right now. plus i'm high on sugar and i just can't sleep.

six years passed in a blink of an eye. my former roommate is now residing in banjarmasin. she just emailed me yesterday on how life is very different there, and how she missed home much. i'll reply her email after this, i promised her after all.

six years ago, who would have known that we will end up like this, when our worries back then feel very trivial now. when our problems back then feel very easy to handle now. when all the little things bugging us back then feel very small now.

it's kinda strange to know that six years ago this place felt foreign to me, though i consider this place as home right now. and what's weirder is the fact that i'm accepting it now. that the city life fits me better than the serenity my hometown offers.

what's more amazing is that i've met so many people in the span of six years. like, so many that my 16 year-old self will deem it impossible. and i can talk with them. i can converse with strangers now.

these past 6 years felt surreal somehow. but i'm grateful for it. really. thank you, all of you. :)

ohisashiburi desu.

so last year i said that i will update more, but i didn't.
this year though, there are so many things to write, but i don't know where to start. maybe i'll post something based on time sequence, but nothing is decided yet. i'll write and post something though.
i will.

#kameramata

hallo! :D

well, i know that i've been slacking off too much on this. been away and wandering around multiply (which recently shut down its blog and note features *le sigh*), wordpress, 750words, and (mostly) twitter for these past 2 years. so, yes, i still write, but mostly only random things on scattered places. hehehe.

i know that it's impetuous, but since yesterday i've been thinking of reinstating this blog again, and maybe re-post things i've posted else where here. keeping things in a place and re-live-ing this blog again. *praying that this will really happen in the future*

and as a celebration of this, i decided to put on a short random writing that i've been searching for a while from my twitter, dated back to July 5th, 2010:

andai ada kamera serupa mata manusia. #kameramata
yang sempurna. memandang dunia tanpa batas dg bebas. #kameramata
merekam semua adegan hidup tanpa kecuali. tanpa perlu kendali. #kameramata
menyimpan segala memori apa adanya. memotret tanpa perlu menipu. #kameramata

till then, then. :)

*i don't know why, but i kinda like the #kameramata hashtag that i used back then. hehehe*

mother's birthday

For millions of things you've done for me.
For every thing you've shared with me.
For every story you've told me.
For every places you've showed me.
For every thing.
For you.
Thank you. :)

I'm glad that you are my mother. I really do.

Happy birthday Mama...
Te amo... :')